We love beautiful girls — can’t get enough of them. That’s why an entire media subculture exists to show them to guys who want to be with them and girls who want to be like them! Almost every industry employs models, but two vastly different empires are the clear cut best of the best: Playboy models and Victoria’s Secret models. I’ve never watched America’s Next Top Model, but apparently Victoria’s Secret is the New York Yankees of modeling. You have to fit the American ideals of physical perfection in every dimension, and put your time in with smaller modeling agencies and bush league product advertising. After the Pirates and the Dodgers have signed their picks — the Yankees pick up the likes of Adriana Lima, who we’ve talked about before.

On the seedy side of modelling you have Playboy — and while becoming a bunny doesn’t entail the paperwork that Victoria’s Secret comes with, it takes special kinds of daddy issues to make it to the top. Hundreds of reality defying bombshells have had Hugh Hefner’s dirty old man-hands all over them, but when I think of Playboy excellence I immediately think of Sarah Jean Underwood. Comparing Playboy bunnies to Victoria’s Secret models is apples to oranges — both make exorbitant amounts of green but the differences end there. If you were to stack these two gorgeous ladies, how would they compare? Help us decide by voting in our current survey!

Sara Jean Underwood

Sara was born in 1984 – making her a perfect 28 years old at the time of this post. One of those crazy Portland, Oregon girls, she worked in sales for awhile before graduating to Hooters. She made her Playboy debut in The Girls of Pac 10 — and was in fact featured on the cover holding a football and sporting a painted-on rendition of a Beavers Jersey (Really? Could that be any better?) That was October 2005 — and by 2007 she had been awarded Playboy’s Playmate of the Month and Playmate of the Year. Fun fact – she was the only Miss July to end up becoming Playmate of the Year (in her own words, she didn’t think she was “pretty enough”).

In addition to her Playboy work, she has hosted G4′s Attack of the Show, announced in various MMA events, and competed on Ninja Warrior. According to Sara, her turn-ons are “shyness, facial hair, and a guy who likes to get dirty and work with his hands.” (Yes! I’m IN!) Her turnoffs seem to coincide with the same douchebags we love to rip on here at DI: “Show-offs, waxed/shaved chests and guys who say what they think I want to hear.” And apparently her favorite book is The Horse Whisperer… good to know.

Adriana Lima

Whereas Sara Jean Underwood represents the down-home American babes, Adriana Lima is a sultry, exotic beauty from Salvador, Brazil. Born in 1981 (31 years old at the time of this post), Adriana is a classy, classy lady who purportedly was abstinent until her marriage in 2008, does not pose nude, goes to church on Sunday like a good girl, and apparently stumbled onto the modeling scene at 15 when a friend convinced her to submit a picture to a nationwide beauty pageant in Brazil. After that, she absolutely exploded — picking up numerous accolades in addition to achieving Victoria’s Secret greatness — including a listing in the 2005 Forbes’ edition of The World’s Best-Paid Celebrities Under 25, 7th on FHMs “100 Sexiest Women 2007″, number one most desirable woman on Askmen.com, “Hottest Girl on the Planet” in 2007 in Spike TV’s poll, the list goes on and on and on…

She’s dabbled in acting, been on numerous Super Bowl ads, been on TV shows, and does more charity work than I care to list off right now. So there you have it — two very different bombshells from two very different worlds! How do you rank them?

Well the turnout is improving — over the last few weeks, a staggering 33 people voted on this pressing issue: are thongs or booty shorts the hottest style? Thongs got destroyed– 85% of voters agreed that booty shorts just kick ass. And based on the following empirical evidence — who could argue?

So we’ll pose another, unrelated question — because why the hell not? With football’s regular season poised to start — who is going to take it all this year? Will Drew Brees and his exorbitantly ridiculous mega-contract carry the Saints to win the Superbowl, or can the Packers and Jake Gyllenhaal take the pot? Let us know your thoughts!

Well, a whopping 27 of you showed up to vote- a testament not only to our enormous viewership but… eh, who am I kidding!? We need your support people!

But enough bitching and moaning, I guess. As suspected, this poll was pretty damn close. Any time a vote came in for Megan Daniels, another vote for Brittany Domino came in (or vice versa) keeping it all tied up for pretty much the whole time. By the time I felt like putting up a different poll, my favorite girl Brittany was up 14 votes to 13. That’s not to say that any of us wouldn’t jump at the chance to…um…buy Megan Daniels a nice dinner…? But Brittany Domino, you are the hottest!

DI is still trucking along, slowly but surely. We’re still getting a lot of good user submitted photos, and a lot of people are signing up every day. Remember — sign in when you post your pics so we can all give you credit! Keep your fine photos coming in!

That being in the books, I figured I should probably but another one of these posts that nobody reads out there, and propose yet another impossible decision– what is a hotter style? The old standard of attitude and pure hotness represented by the thong? Or the relatively recent development embodying tasteful class and sexy curves, which is, of course, booty shorts?

Summer may be somewhat of a year-round event in a lot of places, but here it’s finally starting to get bright and sunny again. Of course, guys recognize this as that special time of year when women’s fashion gets less and less…prohibitive. Sure, you can go to any beach party and find some great scenery — but we here at DI realize that there’s more to classy DI girl than rocking a sexy bikini, and unfortunately, the beach isn’t usually the greatest place to find them!

As a tribute to the warm weather and the sunshine, here are some pictures of your favorite girls chillaxin’ on the beach!

Keep submitting your photos, and keep checking back right here regularly as things continue to heat up!

Let’s face it, we all like to party! But sometimes, going downtown to the local bars or hitting up a house party can be boring after awhile. You see the same people, drink the same drinks, dance to the same songs. Boring isn’t it?! When we’re stuck in a slump, we here at the DI headquarters like to spice things up and throw a themed party. It puts a spin on things, breaks up the monotony of the weekend partying. Here’s a few that we’ve thrown in the past.

Ugly Sweater Party
Now there is nothing better than going to your local Goodwill, scavenging through their massive piles of clothes, searching for that one sweater that will get you laid. Alright, it wont get you laid but it will put you in the running for the ugliest sweater! We’ve always noticed that the best time to through an Ugly Sweater Party is around the winter holidays. It’s like the made ugly sweaters strictly for Christmas. If you’re looking for some change in pace, throw an Ugly Sweater Party, dress like a fool, gel your hair and look like a nerd. Then get drunk and have a sweater dance off!

CEOs and Hoes Party
If you feel like you have class, and want to see the ladies dress in as little as possible, I suggest you go with a CEOs and Hoes Party. You can finally tell your parents that six business management degree has paid off and you’re at the top… well at least you’re dressed like you’re there. So throw on the nicest pair of slacks you have, add a dress shirt and hell, you could even throw on a tie. And with all of girls at the party, dressed in hooker boots and a garder (I’ve seen it happen) you’ll feel like a big shot! So class it up and a bit and throw a CEOs and Hoes Party.

Anything But Clothes Party
If you’ve got crazy friends who have a wild imagination, you definitely need to put on an Anything But Clothes Party. It’s simple, people who come to your party can wear anything except for clothes. It’s not a hard concept and trust me, you’ll get some insane outfits. People will wear garbage bags, beer boxes, duct tape dresses, Halloween costumes or even nothing! So if you’re looking for something out of the ordinary, and want to see how creative your friends can be, host an anything but clothes party.

We’re sure you have all heard of these parties before, but humor us and makes us feel important. And next time you decide to throw a party, take a couple pictures and upload them to the site. Who know’s we may even start a new gallery because of it.

Beer is the “meat and potatoes” of the drinking world. Sure there are faster ways to get sh*tfaced, and there are much classier drinks to sip, but since the dawn of alcoholism, beer has been the centerpiece. It is the world’s most widely consumed alcoholic beverage, and the third most popular beverage overall (behind water and tea). The earliest recorded reference to beer is found in ancient Egyptian and Mesopotamian written histories, although historians believe that the first brewskies could have been chugged as early as 9500 BC when barley was first farmed by our Neolithic ancestors.

We all love to grab a pitcher with friends at the bar, or knock a few back during a football game, but there are a surprising amount of amazing foods you can make with it, too. Most of them are easy, cheap, hearty, and sure to be a party favorite. I’ve started out with three of my favorites, but I’ll keep them coming as I get to them and when I run out of other crap to write about:

Beer Bread

Who doesn’t love fresh baked bread? Bread goes great with just about everything — even as a side to other beer-made dishes. The greatest part is the the beer takes on the taste of whatever beer you use to make it, so using a Pale Ale will result in a rich, flavorful bread, something like Blue Moon or Budweiser bread will take on a classic beer taste, and Pabst bread will taste like sh*t.

Ingredients

• 3 cups flour (sifted)
• 3 teaspoons baking powder (omit if using Self-Rising Flour)
• 1 teaspoon salt (omit if using Self-Rising Flour)
• 1/4 cup sugar
• 1 (12 ounce) can beer
• 1/2 cup melted butter (1/4 cup will do just fine)

Preheat your oven to 375. Mix up the dry ingredients and pour in the beer. Stir until it becomes a batter, then dump it into a greased bread pan. Pour the melted butter over the top of the batter. I will then dump some sugar on top, but some people grate cheese on top. Both are f*cking delicious. Bake for around an hour or until it looks like bread. You’ll have to let it cool for like 15 minutes before it will cut well, after that just dig in!

Beer Battered Anything

Chicken and (even better) fish taste great with a crispy beer batter. Use the fish in fish tacos on a hot day, or make some fish and chips. As long as you’ve got some way to fry it, beer-battered anything is sure to be a big win.

Batter Ingredients

• 1 cup all-purpose flour
• 2 tablespoons garlic powder
• 2 tablespoons paprika
• 2 teaspoons salt
• 2 teaspoons ground black pepper
• 1 egg, beaten
• 1 (12 fluid ounce) can or bottle beer

Mix up the dry ingredients, then add the egg and stir. Slowly stir in the beer until a thin batter is formed. Then just dip whatever you’re frying into the batter and dump it straight into the fryer.

Guinness Gravy

Cook your sh*t like an Irish mountain man– just smother whatever you’re making in gravy. This Guinness gravy is awesome over fried chicken, a pot roast, some pasties, shepherd’s pie, a thick steak, or some potatoes. It’s super simple and derives most of its flavor from dark, delicious Guinness.

Ingredients

• 2 Big White Onions
• 4 Tablespoons Butter
• 2 Sprigs Fresh Rosemary
• ¼ Cup Flour
• 2 Cans of Guinness (Approximately 4 Cups)

Chop up the onions like a boss — the thinner they are cut the faster they will cook. In a large saucepan, melt the butter over medium heat with the rosemary in it (flavor infusion, bitches), and when you can smell the rosemary and all the butter is gone, add the onions and sautee for around 15 minutes (until the onions are golden brown and caramelized). Sprinkle the flour over the onions and stir for another couple of minutes (this is where it gets tricky because you want to cook it into gravy without burning it). Now pour in the Guinness, and you just cook it while stirring fairly frequently until it thickens up. When it’s cooked, you just remove the rosemary and add salt and pepper to taste — and then put it in a blender, or, if you like the texture (aka you are a man) just use it as is. Pour it on your equally manly meal and enjoy.

As a gentleman and a scholar, I feel obliged to point out what anyone with half a brain and an ounce of class is already thinking: that Kim Kardashian has done to the modern entertainment scene what Nicki Minaj and Justin Bieber did to music, Tyler Paine did to television, and Carlos Mencia did to comedy. I won’t elaborate any more on that, but Kim is just…just awful. She sucks in every way possible. Her meteoric rise to fame after taking a dick on tape and her unprecedented earnings (upwards of 6 million dollars) from her pathetically bad reality TV show are something that we as Americans- nay – we as human beings should all be personally outraged by. We all laughed along as her joke of a marriage collapsed after 72 days, but many of us didn’t realize she had the shrewd business sense to sell the rights to her wedding for $17.9 million, which means her short-lived marriage netted her over $10,000 per hour. You know sh*t is messed up when Michael Buble calls you out – even he called her a bitch on stage!

Where am I going with this? Well, people have had enough, and people have started a cause that I haven’t been this excited about since Stop Carlos Mencia. Join your voice to almost 700,000 (as of now) others who have signed an online petition to stop Kim Kardashian. This is the second major petition of its kind, and with enough support, people will have no choice but to start listening.

Finally, taken directly from the petition website, here is a step by step guide to fame and fortune from Kim’s playbook:

• STEP 1 – GENERATE SOME BUZZ
• Don’t worry, no talent is required whatsoever. Start small by leeching some free publicity from someone already “famous”. Party and drink every night, so long as you can get your picture in the tabloids. Once you do, date a D-list celebrity and star in your own sex tape. Set it aside for safe keeping.
• STEP 2 – GET A PUBLICIST – ASAP
• Thanks to your D-List boyfriend and drunk exploits the Paparazzi will already have noticed you. You will need a publicist to help you plant stories with the entertainment media. Since they have zero journalistic integrity, and since they have ads and magazines to sell you will have little trouble getting your name out.
• STEP 3 – QUICKLY FIND SOME JUNK TO PROMOTE
• Look for companies that already make junk products. Cheap cosmetics, dance clubs, alcohol and fragrances are your best bet. They are inexpensive to produce, and nothing but pure profit. Let the brands know that you are going to do anything to sell their product, so long as they give you a cut of the profits and a spokesperson fee.
• STEP 4– LEAK THE SEX TAPE!
• Leak your sex tape on the internet. When asked about it, first deny that is even you. This will keep the media at your door. Then for a while refuse to talk about it, and instead talk about the failing brands you have been hired to promote. Once the money starts rolling in, you can say concede the sex tape was a private mistake, and lie that it was never meant to be leaked.
• STEP 5 – HIRE YOUR MOM & GET PLASTIC SURGERY
• Hire your mom, you will need a good pimp/manager to arrange endorsements with bigger brands. Take a few weeks up to fix your nose. Consider getting some implants to make yourself more controversial. Don’t worry, your doctor has a legal obligation to keep your secret. If asked, deny anything is fake or plastic.
• STEP 6 – NOW YOU CAN DUMP YOUR D-LIST BOYFRIEND!
• You are on your way up, and do not want to be the dimmest light in the room. Instead, find a pro athlete. They make good boyfriends since they are rich, somewhat famous, but actually have a job to perform. This gives you more free publicity but also the free time to cash in from your new found fame.
• STEP 7 – FIND A PATHETIC TELEVISION NETWORK
• You will have lots of choices, but your best bet is also the most pathetic E! Entertainment. Convince your whole family to join in, and pitch them a “reality” show concept. Make sure to let them know that you will be interesting by doing whatever it takes to keep the show going. Don’t worry, they have writers who will write a script for you to follow.
• STEP 8 – CREATE A TWITTER / FACEBOOK ACCOUNT
• Now you are a TV Star! You need a way to keep in touch with your fans. You also must act bigger than you are. Outsource some Indians to create Twitter Bots to follow you, increasing your ranking. This outsourcing experience will be handy later. Plus, the more followers you have (real or fake) the more you can charge per tweet or Facebook update.
• STEP 9 – REMEMBER THE RULES
• By now your celebrity will be in full swing, thanks to your scripted reality show, and the media calling you to cover each of your exploits. Remember the rules, for each 15 minutes spend 14 of them talking about the brands that hire you. It’s cheaper for them to hire you, and you get paid the more they sell. Make sure your mom is pimping hard, finding you more products to push.
• STEP 10 – KEEP YOUR IMAGE GOING
• Remember, Americans have a very short attention span. You must come up with new ways to bait them and the media into giving you time to sell your products. Consider an anti-bullying campaign, anti-fur campaign, or maybe a fairytale wedding. Don’t worry, you are an actress now and everything you do is just for TV. You don’t have to actually stay married or stop wearing dead animals.
• STEP 11 – TRY AND LOOK CHARITABLE
• By now you are a millionaire, but first you have certain responsibilities as a “role model”. Make a few quick charity stops at the local homeless shelter or even consider visiting athird world country. Don’t worry, soon as the cameras get a few good shots you can hop back into your limo and go back to your five star hotel room. It takes just enough so that people don’t see you as fake. Never let them know you are fake, you will need authenticity so you can keep selling.
• STEP 12 – FIND SOME BIGGER PARTNERS
• All the pieces are in place for the real money to flow in. You have the media on the hook, and brands who assume you can sell anything to anyone. It’s time for you and your pimp to find a few choice companies who share your lust for cash. Find companies who are not doing so well such as Sears and QVC ( Mattel?). Deliver to them private label products, under your own brand, so you can make the big money.
• STEP 13 – NEGOTIATE THE SALE OF YOUR OWN PRODUCTS
• Remember, You are now part of the 1%. You are a job creator. The good news is that the fine print allows you to create those jobs anywhere! Don’t lose any sleep over American unemployment or those smelly homeless people you posed for pictures with. Both QVC and Sears will give customers credit cards to buy your trash.

  Find factories in china to make your products. They don’t have the same environmental laws, and laugh at the concept of minimum wage. Best part is: they tend to hire children who have little fingers for better stitching and they take up less space when sleeping at the factory they work at. You get 60+ hours a week, for often less than $1 per hour. More profit in your pockets, and more money to buy fur coats.

• STEP 14 – NEVER MIND THE HATERS
• Controversy comes with the territory and you are doing nothing wrong. Trust the managers, publicists, pimps, and other handlers you pay to remind you how awesome you are! If anyone so dares to question your integrity or threatens to expose your secret formula just bully them with lawsuits and threats to put them in jail until they go away. Hire a scumbag lawyer to scare them into submission. Maybe even arrange a softball interview where you can control the message with a fading journalist like Barbara Walters. Your mom will make sure that you have the questions in advance.
• STEP 15 – LAUGH ALL THE WAY TO AN OFFSHORE BANK
• By now you have made more money than you possibly could without any talent, work, and education or contribution to society. You have extended your 15 minutes into 15 hours! Good for you. Move your money offshore as soon as possible. Real estate in Haiti is extremely cheap and taxes are lower than in the United States. This leaves you even more money left over to buy fur coats and Bentleys. Try to hire a man to date who will overlook your sex tape and failed marriages. Just explain to him that it pays for your liposuction and his mistresses. He will surely love you for who you are.

I implore you, take a look at the website and make a positive change. Sign the petition HERE.

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I could write pages and pages about why you should care about baseball. Not only is it the oldest spectator sport in the nation, it’s a deep, strategic, thinking man’s game that rewards patience, planning, intuition, and risk as much as it does reflexes and athletic ability. It’s one of those games that when you fully understand how it works, you feel even better about it when people brush it off as boring or say they don’t get the appeal; you can see the inner workings and appreciate the sport in all its glory in a way they never will. Although it’s been eclipsed since the 60′s by the pomp and flash of pro football as the highest grossing sport in the nation, baseball’s timeless appeal will always bring you back. Baseball is much less exploitative than football, has much more contented players with better worker relations, less racial tension, and minimal showboating. A burly sipping whiskey and a good cigar is never as good as when you’re lighting it up during the first at-bat or mulling over a pitcher’s duel.

I digress – if you don’t love baseball, chances are you never will. But the (in my opinion real) opening night is tonight, and for the rest of you, here are a few more reasons to give baseball a second thought:

Tune in at 7:00pm ET for the first domestic (i.e. not in Japan) game between the Miami Marlins and the St. Louis Cardinals tonight. Should be a great game (plus I have Mark Buehrle pitching for Miami and Lance Berkman hopefully slugging for St Louis on my fantasy team)!