A couple of weeks ago a group of us went downtown on a Friday night. The city was alive and moving. There was a crowd of us and we were jumping from bar to bar when a friend lost his “man-card.” I am not shitting you his twig and berries packed it up and said f*** it, we’re finding a new home.
Let me break it down for you. When we roll in a crowd we usually take turns buying drinks, I’ll get this round and you get the next. That’s how it’s been and am sure that’s how it will always be. Works out perfectly, well at least you’d think. It works perfectly until you get a rookie who thinks he’s a hot shot and tries to impress the girls you’re with by being sophisticated and trying to show his, should we say, softer side.
It’s the rookie’s turn to buy drinks, as he gets up from the table he looks back at us and announces “Hey guys, I got this one. You’ll all love what I’m bringing back. It’s one of my favorites.” Intrigued, we all agree. Hell we’ve been drinking Captain & Cokes, Whiskey 7′s, BV & Coke so we’re all expecting something good. Something along those lines. He doesn’t seem like a bad kid and SEEMED to be enjoying the first couple rounds of drinks. However, we thought wrong. The rook comes back carrying a tray of martinis. As he strolls up to the table with a giant smirk he gloats “Drink up boys, this one was on me” as he passes out Appletinis, more specifically Caramel Appletinis. Us guys are stunned and the girls begin to laugh.
Thinking he is a bad ass, he rolls into his seat and begins to sip his Caramel Appletini. Not a word is said for at least 30 seconds as we stared at him … then all of a sudden everyone at the table busts out laughing. “What… what guys?? Haven’t you ever had an Appletini? That’s all we drink back home. My buddies and I love them. Just try them you’ll love them.” Right then and there he lost his man-card.
Let me explain why he lost his man-card:
First off he’s with five other guys who have all ordered beer, whiskey or rum; it’s not hard to follow that pattern and buy one of those drinks.
Secondly, trying to impress girls on a Friday night by drinking a Caramel Appletini just isn’t going to do it. The only thing that is going to come from that is you’ll be put in the friend-zone and end up shopping with them the next day. Oh yeah… you’ll be that guy.
If you’re ever in this situation you need to do the following things:
- Buy for the crowd. If it’s your turn to buy drinks, but what everyone else is drinking and if you don’t like what they’re drinking, buy something you like. Don’t make everyone suffer and drink what you want to drink. But beware; you may catch shit for drinking a Caramel Appletini from the rest of the guys.
- If you want to impress a girl, do it by being you. I know it sounds cliché (because it is) but 90% of the girls are more interested in someone who is true than some wanna-be hot shot. Catch her eye early in the evening and if things go well ask her out on a date. That’s when you can pop the Appletini (or you may want to wait until the third date).
So guys, don’t be a rebel and make everyone drink the fruity drinks you love. Buy for the crowd and impress the ladies another way. More often than not you’ll be put in the friend-zone when you bust out drinks like that.
If you’ve got more questions about this Ask Jimmy, he’ll be sure to help you out.
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